Free Time = Freedom

When you finally let go of the self punishing behaviors- Life gifts you freedom.

I am not the first to realise this, nor will I be the last. When I was using drugs and alcohol, I was trying to fill a void. Or was it medicating a feeling? The effect of the "filling or covering," regardless, would fade away, and I'd try to scratch the ich, fill that void again and again and again. To no avail.

It wasn't until I finally let it go and let myself get hungry..! I was surprised to learn it actually wasn't all that painful to bear, that I actually could make it through. To allow the void to exist without feeding into it was tolerable. 

The perk, to not using again and again...and again, was that I had free time. And time=freedom. 

Freedom to pass my time how I chose to. Freedom to meet people, have hobbies and live in this world on my own terms. It was a wild discovery! Knowing that I didn't have to use those behaviors anymore to live was an eath shaking realization. Life is for living. Not fading & escaping.

I won't lie. I do have habits that likely serve the same purpose of "filling the void." But today, it's not alchol or drugs, and I am far, far, better off. I don't allow myself to fall into behaviors that will rob me of ambition. The main source that fills the void is an energy of faith that everything will work out for me...that when life gets hard , it's bound to get better. 

I have time, freedom to be. Becoming unattached was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want that for all of you and all who you know. Addictive behaviors can take so much of our time, and some will rob you. Time is the most valuable currency of all. Get it back, fight tooth and nail if you must. Let others help and guide you. You are worth it. And you can have it. We all can.